Friday, March 20, 2020

A Proper Tasting

It all started in late 2019. Having lunch with a long-time friend, he asked why the group hadn't tasted the only 'proper' whiskey on the market - Conor McGregor's Proper Twelve Irish Whiskey. Since my friend is kinda a big deal, I took his question to heart and resolved to answer it, properly of course. Paying homage to one of Mr. McGregor's professions, I decided the only way to properly taste his whiskey was in a competitive contest - two bottles enter, one bottle leaves kinda thing. Of course, every main event needs a proper undercard, so if two bottles are nice, then surely four bottles must be twice as nice, particularly when there were two specific bottles somewhat related to Proper Twelve that I have been itching to try. And so the tasting challenge was born - two groups of two different whiskeys, four in total, each assigned a unique color code. Participants were tasked with picking a favorite from each group and then pit the winners and losers against each other to rank the four, least favorite to most favorite.

The Reveal



In group one, we have the catalyst for this tasting, Proper Twelve Irish Whiskey squaring off with its direct competitor on whiskey shelves across the globe - the undisputed king of Irish Whiskey (in sales at least) - Jameson.

Group #1
Red:      Proper Twelve Irish Whiskey
Yellow: Jameson Irish Whiskey

Group two takes a selfish detour and brings two Irish whiskeys that I've wanted to try for some time, but never had enough consumer motivation to purchase; until now that is. The two entries in Jameson's Caskmates series - Jameson finished in ex-beer barrels; one in ex-stout barrels and the other in ex-IPA barrels.

Group #2
Blue:    Jameson Caskmates Irish Whiskey - Stout Edition
Green: Jameson Caskmates Irish Whiskey - IPA Edition

The Tale of the Tape
All four whiskeys share a number of commonalities:
  • All four hail from Ireland, Jameson being distilled at the New Midleton Distillery in the south of Ireland, while Proper Twelve's specific provenance is not disclosed, but almost certainly from the Old Bushmills Distillery in Northern Ireland
  • All four are blended Irish whiskeys containing a mixture of Irish single pot still whiskey and Irish grain whiskey (the grain being corn)
  • All four weigh in at the legal-minimum strength for whiskey - 40% ABV (80.0° Proof)
  • All four are rather mysterious in specific production characteristics - age, maturation barrels, and percentage of barley whiskey to grain whiskey are woefully ambiguous, though Jameson does state they mature in both ex-bourbon and ex-sherry barrels
  • All four are readily available and quite budget friendly with each priced in the sub-$30 range
Some interesting tidbits - both Jameson Caskmates whiskeys use beer barrels from the Franciscan Well brewery in Cork, Ireland. Unfortunately, just how long the Jameson is aged in the beer barrels is a mystery. Another mystery, but a very safe bet, is that all four whiskeys are indeed chill-filtered and artificially colored which is not overly shocking considering their place in the whiskey market. Speaking of market place posturing, Proper Twelve definitely has a more upscale shelf-presence, the only one of the four packaged in a cardboard box and topped with an actual cork topper rather than a screw-cap.

One further Proper Twelve note that is worth mentioning, $5 for every case sold, up to $1 million, is donated annually to the Tunnel to Towers Foundation for families of fire fighters and police officers that have lost their lives in the line of duty. Specifically the donations are used to pay off the mortgages of the surviving family members. Proper Twelve just made their first $1 million dollar donation in the United States and is expanding the donation pledge to similar charities in Ireland, Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, Russia, Poland and South Africa.

Enough with the chatter, lets ring the bell and see how the group rated our four contenders.

Tasting Results

In our main event, Group 1, Jameson, like a in-his-prime Mike Tyson dominated, sweeping Proper Twelve in a thoroughly commanding show of force. Group Two was nearly as anti-climatic with four out of five participants picking the IPA variant over the Stout variant of Jameson's Caskmates series. It's when we get to the overall ranking that things get interesting. One participant, despite picking the IPA over the Stout when tasting their Group 2 entries, chose the Stout as their second favorite when tasting all four side-by-side during their overall ranking.


In an attempt to further quantify how each contender fared, I created a totally unscientific weighted scale to assign a numerical score based on the group's tasting results. This woefully simplistic weighted scale is as follows: a 1st place vote earns four points, 2nd place three points, 3rd place two points, and unsurprisingly, a 4th place vote earns one point.

Jameson's stunning display, earning nothing but 1st and 2nd place votes, afforded an easy first place finish. On the flip-side, Proper Twelve's poor performance, earning almost exclusively bottom-half votes proved quite costly. Finally, how about the Stout Caskmate variant eking out a second-place finish with its consistent performance! Great stuff.


So we have a pretty clear winner here, the Jameson retains its crown, at least among our little tasting group. Reading various whiskey trade publications however, Proper Twelve's initial sales figures have been quite impressive, which goes to show that a well-crafted marketing strategy can overcome qualitative shortcomings. Fair warning though, whiskeys that are more show than go tend to be one-and-done type purchases for consumers; it will be interesting to see if Proper Twelve can maintain the impressive sales numbers or if they are doomed to fade in the later rounds for lack of substance and heart.

Group Impressions

Before we get to each participant's tasting notes, a funny aside. At various points between receiving samples and submitting impressions, every single participant remarked to me how similar they found all four whiskeys. In fact, a few even suspected I was playing a prank on them in sending the same whiskey under the pretense that they were different. Everyone should give themselves a huge pat on the back for this astute observation. In truth, while four different whiskeys were indeed sent out, all four are closely related. Three of the four come from the same distillery while the fourth comes from a near-identical distillery in terms of style and production. Speaking personally, I was over the moon that everyone in the group picked up on how close these whiskeys were in terms of style and presentation. Well done to all!

Apollo
Ranking #1: Red vs Yellow

Red
Appearance: Dark Gold, good legs
Smell:  Slight woody smell.  Smells sweet
Taste: Fairly smooth.  Thinking an Irish whiskey.
Finish:  Woody aftertaste.

Yellow:
Appearance:  Dark Gold, good legs
Smell:  Stronger scent the red.  Less woody, more sweet smell
Taste: Similar to Red, less intense.  Even more smoother.  Very similar in fact.  It's almost like Yellow is the same hooch as Red but watered down.
Finish:  No burn, very mild after taste

The Red vs Yellow Verdict:
I'm going with Yellow on this race.  While both are simple, smooth, and have no harsh taste or finish, Yellow has a slight advantage in each of these areas.

Ranking #2 - Blue vs. Green

Blue:
Appearance:  Dark Gold, just like the rest
Smell:  Scotch smell to this guy.  Smokey.  Picked up maple on the scent.
Taste: Bit of a burn on taste.  Not so sure its scotch, might be an Irish whiskey.
Finish:  Very mild finish

Green:
Appearance: Dark Gold, just like the rest
Smell:  Smelled a bit harsh, like of strong alcohol content.
Taste: Lot smoother then I was expecting.  Tastes like a more milder scotch or Irish whiskey.  Getting that vibe it might be the same brand, maybe a different year of the same whiskey?
Finish:  This also has a very mild finish.

The Blue vs. Green Verdict:
Going with green, but not comfortable so about that being it was very similar.

Ranking #3 - All four

Oh hell is this going to be tough.  Ok, here it goes

#1 - Yellow - Smooth is what I like
#2 - Red
#3 - Green
#4 - Blue

Smooth is what I like, yellow takes that cake.  That said, the profiles of all four seem very similar to each other.  If I did a taste test by itself I might have written very similar descriptions for each.  It helped to compare and contrast to each other.  I feel these are all the same type of whiskey, perhaps even from the same distillery.

Jonathan Quayle Higgins
Red Vs. Yellow

Red is slightly darker than yellow.

Yellow has a nice surge of herbal sweetness. Red never delivers more than a murmur of flavor.

Both have a rather sharp grain harshness on the finish.

Red
Less harsh than Yellow but also less memorable, there is nothing all that notable about this hooch. Definite grain and subtle barley. This whiskey feels quite muted…. Like you have the opacity value cranked way down making it partially transparent. I could see those preferring a ‘smooth’ whiskey taking this over the yellow, but to me it just feels woefully boring.

Yellow
First off, a weak nose, really hard to get any sense of aroma here. First taste yields a crash of harshness. Subsequent tastes tame the harshness, perhaps my tongue is tamed. There is a sweetness that pops out and some savory notes. You can detect the barley whiskey, it is more vibrant than Red. The grain alcohol is definitely there as well, in fact, I feel the barley whiskey is dwarfed by the grain whiskey. I would love to know the proportions of barley to grain whiskey.

Winner - Yellow - it has more flavor, Red just seems like watered down anemia.

Blue Vs. Green

Blue
Very nice coffee smell, coffee with cream. Gentle barley on the backside of the nose. Taste shows a bit of cinnamon and damn, perhaps a bit of nutella. Sweet, smooth, each component of the experience blends seamlessly with the next. Barley is far more present in this whiskey than Green. Roasty toasty. I would actually buy another bottle of this.

Green
Citrus cleaner. Jeesh, perhaps a bit of Jolly Rancher Green Apple. Nearly effervescent taste that finishes with a bitter (good bitter) snap. Not as sweet as blue - a bit more jarring on each transition. Less barley notes than blue. A hoppy bitterness on the tail-end of the taste all the way into and through the finish.

Winner - Blue takes this round. I prefer it in every regard.

Overall
This one is not even close for me - Blue gets the top step by a good margin. Second place is tougher - Green and Yellow are neck and neck. I am going to give Yellow the 2nd place finish because it is more soothing to my palate than Green. I like green, but the occasional aroma that reminds me of a citrus cleaner turns me off a bit. There is also a harsher sweet to bitter transition that is jarring. Yeup, Yellow gets 2nd while Green gets 3rd. That leaves Red as my 4th place finisher. Red is not ‘bad’, its just totally unremarkable. What primer is in the painting world, Red is to me in the whiskey world. It has its purpose but its purpose is to be totally utilitarian and not stand out. I will repeat - the only one of the four that I’d purchase a bottle of is Blue, pretty tasty stuff.

Michael Doheny
First tastings were done with whiskey stones, second tasting was done with a tablespoon of room temperature filtered water.

Ranking #1 - Red vs. Yellow

Red - Slightly sweet finish, reminiscent of toasted caramel, with a lingering feeling of warmth. Nice balance with smooth finish. Water removed the sweetness and diluted the afterburn of the tasting. Very enjoyable. Prefer without the water diminishing the delicacy of the sweet finish.

Yellow - Sharper smell than the red cohort. Much smoother finish was offset by a more intense heat. Initial thoughts were this is more drinkable over the stones. When water was introduced there was a much softer burn, as one would expect, but also notes of toffee became more prominent in my mouth and nose.

Finalist - Tough heat, but I’ll nose it out to Yellow.

Ranking #2 - Blue vs. Green

Blue - Either I’m getting more accustomed to these tastings or there was very little heat associated with Blue. It was light, with hints of dark fruits layered in there. It was more a gold or honey color than either Red or Yellow. Water did nothing to the lack of heat but make it a bit chewy and unbalanced in flavor. Reminded me of Red more than Yellow with the exception of the sweet initial smell.

Green - If it were not for the hint of warmth on the back of my throat, I would say I was drinking a thin mead. It was immensely smooth with a strong herbal wood that was reminiscent of flavors from the Ren Faire. Even with the addition of water, the bouquet was a nice floral welcome mat for your senses. Diabolically drinkable, this spirit offers a nice introduction to those who have been put off by more potent whiskeys.

Finalist - Green.

Overall Ranking
#1 - Green
#2 - Yellow
#3 - Blue/Red

Green wins out just due to the overall drinkability of the spirit. All were well crafted and drinkable both over stones and with water.

Zeus
For this four sample showdown we were given four bottles of different whiskies to compare and contrast (labeled Red, Yellow, Green and Blue).  I decided to start off by doing my normal review process and note-taking for each one individually.  I'm not what you'd call a super taster.  In fact I have a very hard time picking out individual flavors from most whiskies.  So the individual reviews didn’t help much.  There's no need to include them here.

So, I moved on to the comparison stage. The first head-to-head match up was Red vs. Yellow.  Red seemed sweeter but smoother. But then on the next sip Yellow seemed smoother. This one was pretty much a draw for me. I hope there’s not a big difference in price. Or maybe I hope there is because then I could buy the cheaper one! Flavor-wise I didn't pick up anything different in either of them. Since I had to choose, I decided to pick Yellow but I couldn't really justify why. I’d be happy with either one.

The second match up was Blue vs. Green.  Blue was pretty smooth and had some complex flavors that I couldn't identify. The same was true for Green. Blue had a little more burn, I think. They both had interesting flavors but I think I prefer Green. It was a very close call though. Blue was also very good and interesting.  One note about Blue.  After I had so much trouble telling the difference between Red and Yellow, I thought my taste buds might just be broken so I decided to take a sip of Blue because that one seemed quite different in my initial sampling.  When tasting Blue immediately after tasting Red, I thought I detected a hint of licorice.  Which is strange because I can almost never pick out flavors like that.  I'm not sure if that flavor was really there or if it was just because of the contrast or maybe even a combination of the flavors.  I thought that was pretty cool, though.

Then I decided to compare my favorite from each group, although that wasn't requested.  I preferred Yellow to Green. In comparing the two, Green seemed to have more of a floral taste that didn't really appeal to me, although I didn’t notice that in the first sampling, so who knows. Yellow seemed more neutral and easy to drink. Since Yellow and Red are so similar, I guess that means I liked Red better than Green as well.

Next I compared my second favorite from each group, which was also not requested, but I just felt like doing it.  I liked Blue better than Red. I think perhaps I should have picked Blue over Green but I’m sticking with my first impression. But I can definitely put Blue above Red, even though I like Red about as much as Yellow, which is my top pick. To quote the sea captain on The Simpsons: Arrrggghh, I don’t know what I’m doin’.

So, my final order across all four is as follows: Yellow, Blue, Red, Green.  This doesn't entirely make sense because I picked Green over Blue when they were head-to-head.  However, when I tested all four of them at the same time this was how I ranked them.

Honestly, I think if I did this test again I might get completely different results.  Red and Yellow seemed the smoothest. But they all seemed smooth at times.  As I was finishing the samples, I started to think that maybe I had misjudged Blue and it might be the best of all of them, even though I initially thought I liked Green better than Blue.  I think I'm just bad at this.  lol

So, to summarize:
Task #1 (Red vs. Yellow): Yellow
Task #2 (Blue vs. Green): Green
Task #3 (All four): Yellow, Blue, Red, Green

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