Shiver Me Sphincters!

 

My first 'original' concoction, a riff on Puka-Puka Punch that was born from a bout of boredom and leftover ingredients from the previous day's Painkiller exploits.

 

Ingredients

• 3 ounces rum (for this iteration, I used 1 ounce Wray & Nephew Overproof, 1 ounce Appleton Estate 12 year, and 1 ounce Mount Gay Eclipse Navy Proof)
• 1 ounce pineapple juice
• 1 ounce cream of coconut 
• 0.75 ounces falernum
• 0.75 ounces passion fruit syrup
• 0.75 ounces lime juice
• 1 dash Angostura bitters 

Composition

Place all ingredients in a cocktail shaker and either stir vigorously or shake without ice to ensure the cream of coconut is well incorporated. Pour into an ice-filled pilsner or highball glass. 

 

Commentary

Lightning struck one idle afternoon when I found myself with an opened can of Coco Lopez and a handful of hours to kill before dinner prep. The recipe for Don the Beachcomber's Puka-Puka punch served as inspiration, three ounces of rum, passion fruit syrup, lime, and falernum, all of which seemed compatible with cream of coconut and pineapple juice, so out came the jigger and tins.

 

I omitted Puka's simple syrup, but stuck with the three ounces of rum and equal pours of passion fruit, lime, and falernum. By default, I always pour equal amounts of pineapple juice and cream of coconut, which I bumped to a full ounce because I wanted a dominant coconut flavor. Things were promising after my initial stir and taste, the sweet and sour balance was to my liking, the ethanol oomph of the rum was perfect, but the drink seemed a tad shallow, missing the mythical 'it' factor. Instinctively I reached for a tropical drink stalwart, Angostura Bitters, and sure enough a single dash did the trick, expanding and enhancing the cocktail wonderfully. Tangentially, I must mention my eternal gratitude to the great New Orleans barman Chris McMillian, who in a series of now 18-year old videos that inspired and educated me all those years ago, preached the power of bitters in cocktails. In his Sazerac video, he tells the audience not to fear cocktail bitters, to think of bitters as seasoning for cocktails, like adding salt to a soup to enhance the flavor.

 

As for the selection of rums, after a few rounds of mixing, I have some thoughts: 

• This cocktail benefits by mixing different styles of rum, and at least one of those rums should be a higher-proof offering (though not necessarily a >75% ABV example)
• Funky Jamaican rums stand up well to the bold passion fruit and coconut, everything from Wray & Nephew White Overproof to Hampden Estate or Worthy Park will work well
• One of the rums should be an aged 'traditional' molasses rum, think of offerings from Guyana or Barbados
• If using a rhum agricole, I have found younger rhum agricoles work better than well-aged variants. Personally I would not use anything older than a VO rhum agricole

Now for the elephant in the post, the name. A long-time friend who shares my enthusiasm for food and drink helped inspire the name. Through the years of our gastronomic and imbibing adventures, my friend and I have come up with a seemingly endless repertoire of jokes, innuendos, and cliches centered around bodily functions and anatomy. We have (jokingly?) kicked around the names of cocktails if we were to create a bar menu of our very own, each referencing gaping, explosive, or inflamed orifices, organs, or fluids. As such, I originally named this libation 'Tickle My Sphincter' but felt the more tiki-esque 'Shiver Me Sphincters!' would be more fitting on a menu paying homage to mildly inappropriate swashbuckler adventures on the high seas. Cheers my friends, and keep the sanitary wipes handy.